Between love and the desire to completely possess the object of your love, a thin line. Clinical psychologist Lisa Faerstone talks about how to get rid of the possessive instinct and create equal trusting relationships.
Relations with loved ones are often overshadowed by such unpleasant feelings as uncertainty and fear. They are associated with low self -esteem and past negative experience. For example, the boy’s parents divorced, and in adulthood he is afraid of repeating this story in his family. He monitors his wife and gives her jealousy.
In childhood, each of us has developed a certain strategy of behavior in case of unpleasant situations. Unconsciously we use these models of behavior in adulthood.
The parents of a little girl talk to each other, but they do not pay attention to her. She begins to stomp with her legs, scream and fall to the floor. The girl grows up, and when https://www.semasan.com/sema/inc/?the-evolution-of-my-stake-casino-in-the-online-gambling-world.html it seems to her that the partner communicates with her and thinks about something of her own, she tries to control the situation, trying to attract his attention in all possible ways.
Models of behavior and protective reactions formed in childhood harm adult relations. Here are seven steps that will help destroy children’s stereotypes and build trusting relationships with a partner.
1.Strengthen the sensation of your own value
If self -uncertainty is based on ownership, you need to deal with the inner voice, which is trying to strengthen uncertainty. Realize that they are valuable on their own, regardless of how others relate to you. You are strong and capable of a lot. Even if your assumptions are justified and it turns out that the partner is deceiving you, life will not end.
2.Resist the outbreaks of jealousy and manifestations of authoritarian behavior
Otherwise, you risk pushing the partner. No matter how much you worry, try not to put pressure on him. Ignore the inner voice that teaches a partner for his anxiety: “He returned from work too late for you to be happy. Do not talk to him – let him know how to linger “.
3.Realize that these feelings have come from the past
Your anxiety will not disappear by itself. You need to understand where it came from. What is happening now – the trigger of the old pain. If you strive to control a partner and want to completely possess it, rummage in the past. So you will understand yourself real. Sometimes it’s not easy to find what determines destructive behavior. In this case, psychotherapy is necessary that will help to realize the source of uncertainty.